Dear Parents,
During the first four years, the
formation program in chastity was presented almost exclusively by you, the
parents. The teaching points that were provided to you accomplished this. As
the young people reach the middle school years, there are some elements of
formation that will be covered in the school or parish catechetical programs.
However, the parents will give the intimate and very personal information.
Since each child differs in their needs and personal rate of development, the
information needed by one child is often very different from others. There are
three things that we are providing for you at this time. One is an overview of
the moral and spiritual formation topics that will be covered in your child's
class. The second section deals with social aspects of development and chaste
living, also classroom topics. The parents are encouraged to review these first
two sections with their children, in addition to their classroom presentations.
The third section is a summary of the key details of personal developmental
information. You, as the parent, judge when and how much information on human
development you want to provide for your child. This summary will be repeated
each year for your reference. There are also additional references that may be
helpful to you in making these presentations to your child. These are listed at
the end of the section on human development.
I. Moral / Spiritual Component - How we know
the truth.
·
God
created man and woman in His image, with dignity, to live in relationship with
each other and to make a gift of ourselves to others.
·
In
the sacrament of marriage, the husband and wife are called to make a total gift
of themselves to each other through the marital act. Note; If the teacher or
catechist is asked by a student what the marital act is, they should simply
state that it is the act by which a husband and wife give themselves totally to
one another, body and soul, and that this act is so good and powerful, that God
sometimes chooses to create a new human being through it. There is biological
information, which is to go to each parent which gives more specifics on what
the marital act involves - particularly on a biological level. This biological
explanation is to be reserved to parents, in accordance with # 133.4 of Truth and Meaning of Human
Sexuality.
·
The
marital act must always be open to life and love.
·
The
marital act is reserved for marriage.
·
Sexual
acts outside of marriage are a grave sin.
·
Some
of these sins include: adultery, pre-marital sex, and any other act intended to
sexually arouse yourself or others.
·
True
marriage can exist only between one man and one woman.
·
There
can never be a true marriage between a man and a man, or between a woman and a
woman.
·
Homosexual
acts are always gravely sinful.
·
If
one has committed a sexual sin(s) it should be confessed in the Sacrament of
Penance. This sacrament gives the grace and strength to live purely in the
future. We have to cooperate with this grace through prayer, going to Mass,
frequently going to Confession, and through effort.
II. Social Component - How we live out the
truth.
·
God's
love for us includes freedom
·
True
freedom means the freedom to do what is good and right.
·
Because
we are free, we are responsible for our acts.
·
We
cannot be truly free if we are not living chastely and purely.
·
Dating
is inappropriate until you are able to maturely evaluate your relationships
with others.
·
If
you begin dating too early it is difficult to resist the pressures others may
put on you.
·
This
is the time to happily enjoy friendships without the pressures of dating.
·
We
should avoid public discussions of private matters. If we see this happening,
we should change the subject.
·
We
must look away from immodest images, people, and things.
·
It is
always sinful to use pornography, whether in pictures, magazines, or the
internet.
·
Television,
movies, and music that have immoral themes can be an occasion of sin. We should
search out movies and TV shows with wholesome, moral themes.
·
It is
always sinful to physically, emotionally, or sexually abuse anyone, or to treat
them in a degrading manner.
·
It is
never ok for anyone to physically, emotionally, or sexually abuse you or treat
you in a degrading manner. If this happens, immediately tell a parent or
trusted adult.
·
St.
Thomas Aquinas, Patron of students and of chastity, Pray for Us!
III. Human Development and Maturity
As your child matures, it is your
privilege and responsibility to communicate the truth and meaning of human sexuality
to your child and to help him/her through the stages of development. The
relationship and trust you establish now, will help
your child to navigate his/her way from childhood, through adolescence, to
adulthood in a virtuous and successful way.
Our bodies express the truth of
who we are. God prepares boys and girls to eventually become fathers and
mothers. One of the ways that this happens is that changes occur in our bodies.
As part of God's plan, boys and girls develop at different times. The fact that a boy or girl is developing somewhat more slowly or
quickly than others their age is not necessarily a cause for alarm. You
can explain to your child the changes they begin to see in themselves and in
their classmates as they enter puberty. As you judge them ready, you can
explain more fully the biological aspects of procreation in conjunction with
the moral dimensions.
As parents, the love and support
that you give your children during this time of transition from childhood
through adolescence to adulthood will pay big dividends down the road. While
making sure to give proper supervision, itwill be important for parents to respect their
child's increasing need for privacy.
People express their love
physically, as well as emotionally and spiritually. The fullest physical
expression of love takes place with the marriage of a man and a woman. The act
of intercourse (the marital act) is the sacramental expression of love between
a husband and wife, which is founded on the marriage covenant. This act is a sign
of deep love and self-giving between husband and wife and is intended by God
for two primary purposes: the generation of life (procreative end) and the
deepening of the union between husband and wife (unitive
end). Every marital act (act of 9intercourse between husband and wife) must be
open to these two ends. In marriage, the physical intimacy of the spouses
becomes a sign and pledge of their spiritual communion. Marriage bonds between
a baptized man and a baptized woman are sanctified by the sacrament.
An additional information sheet
with some of the basic biological information, in non technical language, is
available to parents from the school of parish catechetical office.
For further information on these
and other important questions and issues related to human growth and sexuality,
we recommend the following resource:
Aquilina, Mike - General Editor, Talking to Youth About Sexuality:
A Parents' Guide; Our
Sunday Visitor, Inc., Copyright © 1995 Roman Catholic Diocese of
For young people, friendships
outside the home are very important. Parents should know who their child's
friends are, and with where they spend their time. Especially note if your
child is "hanging around" with students who are several years older.
This is always a red flag for parents. Also be conscious of the adults that
spend time with your children. Do they meet with your approval, and is the time and circumstances of their involvement
appropriate? Media influences are very much a part of the cultural formation
that young people receive. Monitor movies, books, and especially computer use.
Computers should be in a "public" area of the home under the watchful
eye of parents. Children alone can be susceptible to the activity of strangers
via chat rooms. Mixed group activities are best for young people in the middle
grades; we strongly discourage single dating until much later in the high
school years.